August 4, 2014

"We've heard your cries for..."

"... more realistic sex positions. So here they are. Real sex positions. Modeled by real people. Completely unretouched. We're calling it Fifty Shades of Missionary. You're welcome."

Via Salon, "Cosmo’s craziest sex tips yet: 50 takes on the missionary position."

21 comments:

rhhardin said...

The right decor can go a long way.

The Crack Emcee said...

Won't be clicking through, thanks.

People who need instructions should just not bother,...

Douglas B. Levene said...

Salon isn't even trying to distinguish itself from parody site @Salondotcom anymore.

khesanh0802 said...

Very tasteful!! I looked at the first two and left. I never fully understood the term "click bait" until this article.

Wince said...

I don't trust a man in a leotard, especially one that low-cut in the back. Worse that shorts! Shudder.

Meade said...

Hey, not clicking through is one of the 50 positions, Crack!

Phil 314 said...

Yes, sex is funny if not done with style.

sojerofgod said...

Who was it who said there were 50 ways to love your lever?

Joe said...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLejEZ2KYs0

traditionalguy said...

"The beast with two backs" ... and four hands, four legs, four arms, four lungs, six lips, two brains, two hearts, two tongues and one phallus.

The possible combinations are many.

The Drill SGT said...

The Kama Sutra that isn't.

"Socks on missionary"?

James Pawlak said...

As a 76 year old widower, my only reaction was" "I only wish..."

Scott M said...

Just how affluent does a society have to be...

chillblaine said...

Somewhat cringe-worthy that the article refers to breasts as 'boobs.'

Speaking of boobs, I wonder what number Bubba uses with the Energizer. Now those are some hard choices!

geokstr said...

A crook with less than a genius IQ worked many years to engrave the perfect counterfeit plates for a $15 bill. After running off the first batch, he took one and decided to try it out.

At the store, he bought gum for a dollar and handed the clerk his new $15 bill. The clerk didn't bat an eye, just handed him two $7 bills in change.

FleetUSA said...

Boring. I stopped at 22. Someone had a lot of time on their hands to do this.

David said...

Someone should tell them it works better with your clothes off.

SeanF said...

sojerofgod: Who was it who said there were 50 ways to love your lever?

Paul Simon, when he was on "The Muppet Show" (about 25 seconds in, actually):

Link

Sam L. said...

I laughed at your excerpted quote.

COSMO the shark hath jumped!

Clyde said...

I liked the 7 Amazing Sex Positions, Illustrated by Peeps better, but I did get a few chuckles from that one. Some folks just have no sense of humor.

ken in tx said...

To have my woman wrap her legs around my waist, put her heels in the back of my knees, and wrap her arms around my shoulders, that's enough shades of anything.