April 17, 2014

"Beards Are Less Attractive When They’re Everywhere."

A headline that invites amusing visualizations sits atop a rather banal article at FiveThirtyEight that tells us that once too many men have beards a clean-shaven guy seems even more attractive than he would if fewer men had beards.

There's no discussion of the underlying concern: Men with relatively weak chins have more to gain from adopting the beard look, and when beards are in style, it's more likely that the men who defy the trend (and go to the trouble of shaving) are the ones with the best-looking jawlines.

Can we get some more statistics and analysis on that, 538?

Meanwhile, I'm just thinking about what the world would look like if beards were literally everywhere. Beyond "less attractive"... horrifying.

BONUS: Datable Beard Man Generator.

23 comments:

ron winkleheimer said...

Beards seem to be coming back into style (a trend I was on fore front of years ago) but mostly short, well trimmed beards.

However, I saw something a couple of years ago at a wedding reception that, no matter how hard I try to repress the memory, I cannot seem to unsee.

A young guy who shaved his face and chin, but allowed the hair on his neck to grow unchecked.

It was one of the most horrible things I have ever seen.

rhhardin said...

Beards, or stubble actually, is for cold weather bike commuting.

They need a beard chill index as well as a wind chill index, the stubble more or less reducing the relative wind speed to a couple of miles an hour.

Even the thinnest wire produces enormous drag.

Anyway a spell of warmer weather produces shaving.

rhhardin said...

Trick for shaving long stubble.

Get a regular haircut razor, use it without plastic combs on beard.

This shortens the stubble enough so that conventional shaving works, blade or electric.

Lyle said...

I just shaved my beard of this past Saturday. I looked like a French voyageur circa 1830s. I had to adopt this special style because I couldn't really competently groom it.

Some women liked it, others didn't. One told me it was nasty because while eating bisque some of the bisque would catch on the whiskers. Another said at a crawfish boil that the crawfish could have used my beard to hide in so they didn't get boiled.

That's when I decided to shave it off.

Bart Hall (Kansas, USA) said...

A world where beards are commonplace? 1850s to 1890s America.

I would take the economic dynamism and progress of that era any day, compared to the incompetent and confused -- but clean -shaven -- metrosexuals of our own era.

Tarrou said...

Ann hits upon the crucial point which is that beards are masculizing.

Less masculine-looking men benefit from some face-growth, while very masculine-looking men don't.

This is why Ryan Reynolds almost always has some stubble, and Daniel Craig rarely does.

Curious George said...

Datable Beard Man Generator?

Perfect timing with the Stanley Cup playoffs starting.

Renee said...

Did they use women in the study when they were ovulating.

RecChief said...

oh, I thought the headline meant a different meaning for 'Beard'

Never mind

Also, Stnaley cup playoffs began last night. Let the Beard-a-Thon begin.

jimbino said...

Whoa Tarrou,

What is a "masculine-looking" man? Some conceit on your part. By definition, every man is "masculine-looking."

Do you imagine the masculine-looking man to have chest and back covered in hair? To be extremely tall? To swing from trees?

Indeed, if you want a working definition, you might well go with the average male, who would be far from tall, moderately hairy, with size-9 feet, etc.

Just think of the varieties of "feminine-looking" woman around the world. Here in Rio de Janeiro, men and women value big asses instead of big boobs. In some places, the "feminine-looking" woman is obese, and in others emaciated like Barbie.

John Scott said...

I'm 56. Without my beard I can pass for someone in their early 40s. But I look like someone that is 56 that could pass for someone much younger - think Bob Costas but without the plastic surgery. I wear a beard because it gives my face a more natural look, despite the fact that because of the grey in it, it makes me look closer to my age.

Ann Althouse said...

I think everyone knows what a masculine face looks like and what a feminine face looks like.

Excessively masculinity in a face is not attractive, so it's not that the more masculine you look the better. Actually, slightly less masculine than the average man has been rated more attractive in a man.

Tastes vary, but the extremes are weird. Personally, I think Johnny Depp is just about perfect, but maybe you think Russell Crowe is.

As for females, I think a lot of the models considered beautiful actually are men… or certainly they are at a standard that is a bit manly.

For example, Cindy Crawford seems about perfectly beautiful to me, but she's less feminine looking than the average woman.

William said...

My speculation is that beards grew in inverse proportion to the qualitiy of razor blades. Perhaps in former times only the affluent could afford to go to the barber every day for a close, comfortable shave. Thus a clean shaven look could be considered a status marker. This status marker disappeared as the quality of razor blades improved......Perhaps beards, like t-shirts among Internet billionaires, are a reverse kind of status thing. At one time you needed a certain amount of autonomy to be able to sport a beard at work.

Paddy O said...

The dream of the 1890s is alive in Portland.

Bilwick said...

I grew a beard because I have a Ray Bolger-like chin and wanted to see what it would be like to have a jaw-line, even if made of hair.

What I notice today is sort of demi-beards: not quiet real beards, but looking like the owner had missed shaving for a few days, or was trying to grow a beard. I think it looks ugly. I also assume it's some kind of fad among members of the Dumbest Generation, since the DGs (especially those of the hipster variety) seem to like ugly-looking facial hair.

Trashhauler said...

It is just my unsubstantiated suspicion that the popularity of beards stems from the growing tendency of males to have done not much in their lives that is very masculine.

Wilbur said...

Trashhauler may have something there.
I was told once by a lady of the night that "The louder the engine, the smaller the (male endowment)."

Carol said...

I hate the big long ZZ Top beards. UGH..They make guys look like bums. OK I get that bums can't shave every day. But why would a guy who does have access to razors want to look like a bum?

Fred Drinkwater said...

William,
In 1662 Samuel Pepys was advised to try shaving with a pumice stone. He did, but apparently gave it up as a bad job, and went back to hiring pro barbers.

Danno said...

As someone closely following Meade in the age department, I don't want anything that makes me more gray. Leave the beards to the Taliban and Phil Robertson. I don't mind being able to shave every 2-3 days though when I am not working.

Leon said...

my thought that was not addressed be either you are the article...although you came close with the weak chin comment...was they said when beards become more popular women find them less attractive. maybe that's because more men who shouldn't have beards start growing them out.

Michelle Dulak Thomson said...

Bart Hall,

A world where beards are commonplace? 1850s to 1890s America.

I would take the economic dynamism and progress of that era any day, compared to the incompetent and confused -- but clean -shaven -- metrosexuals of our own era.


Indeed. Who was our last bearded President, anyway? Benjamin Harrison? That doesn't take us even into the 20th century.

David Davenport said...

Ann A. is ashamed to admit that she has erotic fantasies about men with long beards and short pants.